My GOD

Before I say anything, I just want to say that this is the most rebellious and aggressive track I have ever experimented with. I didn’t know I had that in me… But we’re here anyway.

If you really pay attention to the lyrics of “My GOD”, you’ll probably figure out what it is about—this push/pull energy between two people. It’s toxic. It’s unhealthy. And most importantly it’s tense. I tried to explore these themes of attraction where it doesn’t grow from something so innocent or pure. Nowadays, we consume a lot of songs that were solely made as “love songs”, so naive, so pure. I don’t think that the unhealthy side of attraction in relationships gets talked about enough because it feels raw and vulnerable. Well, someone has to be that person to tell the ugly story…

it’s a call-out. It’s tailored. It’s piercing. And it’s supposed to be that way. I’ve suppressed some of the thoughts but I wanted to come clean with them using the style of the song. This track gave me a very good excuse to express what was held down in my throat. Sometimes, situations just don’t work out the way we expect them to. In this case, I wrote down everything that I wanted to say but didn’t on a piece of paper. By assembling them into actual lyrics, you strip away that layer of emotion, making it easier to digest and listen to. 

In terms of stylistic choices, I sampled this very hazy guitar loop that sounds very similar in style to The Neighbourhood, Arctic Monkeys, and Twenty One Pilots. It has that edgy feeling, but is emotional enough to serve as a core to the vibes of the track. The best way to describe the feeling listening to this track is that it feels like a hallucination. It feels romantically desperate and brutally honest.

All Yours

“All Yours” is a track you can really ponder with. I really channeled my inner poet with it, and I had so much fun struggling through the process of finding the right words. Just like “My GOD”, it explores this tug-of-war energy between two people. However, ultimately, one succumbs in desperation. Meanwhile, the other literally leaves them “in the dark”. 

The whole track revolves around one word—surrender. Initially, I based the idea of the track with a thought: “How can I make this tell the story of someone surrendering to their feelings for another; even if they know that it will destroy them in the end?” It explores the ambiguity of reciprocity in feelings. One moment you’re sure about how both of you are feeling, and another moment you never doubted yourself so hard. I wanted to explore the problem of giving too many chances just so one wants to feel something, anything, just to not feel numb. 

In fact, the story I tell in this track is based on personal experience as well. It’s about loving someone who cannot meet you there in the right place, at the right time. Sometimes, you convince yourself that a string of connection is fated, but you turn a blind eye on every little evidence telling you to stay away from that person just because we so desire something to work out. 

Influenced by a perfectionist mentality, I always struggled with giving myself some grace. When I come upon someone so ideal, I convince myself they’re so perfect. But with that, trying to hide the cracks in broken porcelain so it looks new again won’t restore its ability to hold water. “All Yours” delves into the idea of letting go because you fall in love with potential, not reality.